Choosing a care home for someone you love can feel overwhelming. Families are often making the decision during an emotional or uncertain period, while also trying to understand care needs, funding, locations and availability.
There is rarely one care home that is objectively “the best”. The right home is the one that can safely meet your loved one’s needs, respects their personality and routines, and feels like somewhere they could genuinely become comfortable.
A polished reception and a glossy brochure may make a good first impression, but they do not tell you everything. The atmosphere, staff, quality of care and everyday experience of residents matter far more than expensive wallpaper.
This guide explains how to compare care homes, what to look for during a visit and which questions families should ask before making a decision.
Start With Your Loved One’s Care Needs
Before comparing care homes, you need a clear understanding of the type and level of support your loved one requires.
Some people need help with everyday activities such as washing, dressing, meals and medication. Others may have nursing, mobility, dementia or palliative care needs that require more specialist support.
The main types of care include:
| Type of care |
Who it may be suitable for |
| Residential care |
People who need help with personal care, meals, medication, mobility and everyday living |
| Nursing care |
People with medical or clinical needs that require support from qualified nurses |
| Dementia care |
People living with dementia, Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of memory loss |
| Respite care |
People needing a temporary stay, often following an illness or to give a family carer a break |
| Palliative care |
People living with a serious or life-limiting condition who need comfort-focused support |
You can learn more in our guide to
what residential care is.
If you are unsure what level of care is appropriate, you can request a care needs assessment from the adult social care department of your local council. The NHS advises that a needs assessment is the first step when someone is struggling to manage day-to-day and may require care and support.
Our guide to
care needs assessments explains how the process works and what families can expect.
Involve Your Loved One Wherever Possible
A move into care should not simply happen to someone.
Where your loved one has the ability to take part in the decision, involve them as early as possible. Ask what matters to them, what they are worried about and what would help them feel comfortable.
Their priorities may be different from yours. You might be focused on clinical support and safety, while they may care most about bringing their favourite chair, having a garden, keeping their usual morning routine or remaining close to friends.
Useful questions to discuss include:
- Would they prefer a smaller or larger home?
- How important is location?
- Do they prefer a busy social environment or somewhere quieter?
- Which hobbies and routines would they like to continue?
- Would they like to bring their own furniture and belongings?
- How often would they like family and friends to visit?
- Are there any cultural, religious or dietary preferences the home must support?
Even when someone cannot participate fully, families can still represent their known wishes, routines, history and preferences.
Consider the Location Carefully
Location can make a major difference to how easy it is for family and friends to remain involved.
A home close to relatives may allow for more frequent, informal visits. Being near a familiar town, church, park, coastline or community can also help someone feel connected to the life they had before moving into care.
However, the closest home is not automatically the right home. It may be worth travelling slightly further for a setting that provides more appropriate care or feels significantly more welcoming.
Think about:
- Travel time for regular visitors
- Public transport and parking
- Access to hospitals, GPs and other health services
- Nearby shops, cafés, parks or coastal areas
- Whether the surroundings are peaceful and accessible
- Whether the location feels familiar to your loved one
Moorland House is situated in Barton-on-Sea, close to the Hampshire coast, while
Glebe House provides residential and nursing care in Staines, Surrey.
Research the Home Before Visiting
A care home’s website, brochure and online directory profiles can provide useful background information, but they should be treated as a starting point rather than the final verdict.
Before arranging a visit, look at:
- The types of care the home is registered to provide
- Its latest Care Quality Commission report
- Room sizes and facilities
- Activities and social opportunities
- Visiting arrangements
- Menus and dietary support
- Reviews from residents and families
- Whether fees and additional charges are explained clearly
- How the home responds if someone’s needs increase
In England, care homes are regulated by the Care Quality Commission, commonly known as the CQC. Its reports and ratings can help families understand the quality of care provided and identify areas of strength or concern.
The CQC considers whether a service is safe, effective, caring, responsive to people’s needs and well-led.
Always read the detail of the report rather than looking only at the overall rating. The report may explain what the home does well, what has changed and whether any issues were identified.
Visit More Than Once
You cannot properly judge a care home from photographs alone. Visiting gives you the opportunity to see how the home feels and how people interact.
The NHS recommends visiting the home, looking around and speaking with the manager, staff and residents when possible. Families can also ask about a temporary stay before making a longer-term decision.
Try to visit more than once if time allows. A scheduled tour can be helpful, but a second visit at a different time may give you a more complete picture of daily life.
During your visit, notice:
- Whether staff greet residents warmly
- Whether residents appear comfortable and appropriately supported
- Whether staff seem calm or rushed
- Whether people are treated with dignity
- Whether communal areas feel active without being chaotic
- Whether bedrooms and shared spaces are clean and well maintained
- Whether residents have access to privacy
- Whether the atmosphere feels welcoming
Trust your instincts, but back them up with evidence. A home should feel comfortable, but it must also demonstrate that it can provide safe and suitable care.
Observe How Staff Interact With Residents
The quality of a care home depends heavily on the people providing the care.
Pay attention to the way staff speak to residents. Do they use residents’ names? Do they listen patiently? Do they explain what they are doing? Are residents given choices?
Small interactions can reveal a great deal.
A staff member remembering how someone takes their tea may sound insignificant, but it shows that the resident is known as an individual. Personalised care is often visible in these ordinary moments.
Ask the manager about:
- Staff training and experience
- Staff turnover
- The use of agency workers
- Staffing arrangements during the day and night
- How new staff are introduced to residents
- How concerns or complaints are handled
- How families are kept informed
- Who is responsible for each resident’s care
The CQC says families should expect care services to involve residents and their relatives, while treating people with compassion, kindness, dignity and respect.
Ask How Care Is Personalised
A good care home should not expect every resident to follow exactly the same routine.
Ask how the home learns about a new resident’s personality, life history, preferences and habits. This information should be reflected in an individual care plan that is reviewed as their needs change.
Questions to ask include:
- Can residents choose when they get up and go to bed?
- Can they decide where and with whom they eat?
- How are food preferences recorded?
- Can they continue hobbies and interests?
- How are cultural and religious needs supported?
- Can rooms be personalised?
- How often are care plans reviewed?
- How are relatives involved in reviews?
- What happens if the resident’s health deteriorates?
Person-centred care is not an optional extra. The CQC’s fundamental standards state that care should be tailored to an individual’s needs and preferences.
At
Merling Care, care is built around each resident rather than expecting the resident to fit around the home.
Look Beyond the Activities Calendar
Activities can help residents stay active, connected and mentally stimulated, but a long activity calendar does not automatically mean residents are living fulfilling lives.
Ask whether activities are adapted for people with different interests, mobility levels and abilities. There should be opportunities for group participation, but residents should not feel pressured to join every event.
Meaningful activity may include:
- Music and entertainment
- Arts and crafts
- Exercise sessions
- Gardening
- Baking
- Animal visits
- Local trips
- One-to-one conversations
- Reading or reminiscence
- Spending time outdoors
- Helping with familiar household tasks
The important question is not simply, “What activities do you provide?” It is, “How will you help my loved one continue doing the things that matter to them?”
Consider Food, Comfort and Everyday Life
Meals are an important part of life in a care home. They provide nutrition, structure and an opportunity for residents to spend time together.
Ask to see a sample menu and find out:
- Whether meals are prepared at the home
- How dietary and medical requirements are managed
- Whether alternatives are available
- Whether residents can eat in their rooms
- How cultural preferences are supported
- Whether drinks and snacks are available throughout the day
- How the home supports residents who need help eating
You should also look at the wider living environment. Are there quiet areas as well as communal spaces? Is there access to a garden? Are rooms comfortable and easy to personalise? Can residents receive visitors privately?
A care home becomes someone’s home, not just a place where services are delivered. Comfort and choice therefore matter enormously.
Understand the Fees
Care home fees vary according to location, room type, care needs and the type of support provided.
Ask for a written breakdown explaining:
- The weekly fee
- What the fee includes
- Any additional charges
- How frequently fees are reviewed
- Whether fees change if care needs increase
- What happens during a hospital stay
- Notice periods and deposit requirements
- How belongings and personal expenses are managed
Do not be embarrassed to ask direct questions about money. Unclear fees now can become expensive surprises later.
Depending on the person’s financial circumstances and care needs, support may be available through the local authority or NHS. A financial assessment can help establish whether someone qualifies for help with care costs.
Consider Whether the Home Can Support Future Needs
Your loved one’s needs may change over time, so ask what would happen if they became less mobile, developed dementia symptoms or required nursing support.
Some homes provide only residential care, while others provide residential and nursing care within the same setting.
Glebe House offers both residential and nursing care. This may allow some residents to receive increased support without moving to a completely different home, although every person’s needs must be individually assessed.
Moorland House specialises in residential care within a smaller, homely environment near the coast.
No home can promise to meet every possible future need. What matters is that staff are honest about what they can provide and explain clearly what would happen if circumstances changed.
Consider a Respite or Trial Stay
Making a permanent decision can feel daunting. Where appropriate and available, a respite stay may give your loved one the opportunity to experience life in the home before committing to a longer-term move.
During a short stay, they can:
- Meet the staff and residents
- Experience the meals and daily routine
- Take part in activities
- Become familiar with the environment
- Decide whether they feel comfortable
Respite care can also be helpful following an illness, during recovery or when a family carer needs a break. You can read more in our guide to
respite care.
Questions to Ask When Visiting a Care Home
It can help to prepare questions in advance, particularly when emotions are running high.
Consider asking:
- What types of care are you registered to provide?
- How will you assess my loved one before admission?
- How are individual care plans created and reviewed?
- What training do staff receive?
- How many staff are available during the day and night?
- How do you support residents to remain independent?
- What activities are available?
- How are dietary requirements managed?
- How are families kept informed?
- What is included in the weekly fee?
- What happens if care needs increase?
- Can residents personalise their rooms?
- What are the visiting arrangements?
- How do you help new residents settle in?
- Can we speak to residents or relatives about their experiences?
A good care home should welcome sensible questions. Defensive or vague answers are rarely a reassuring sign.
Care at Merling
Merling Care provides residential care across two smaller care homes, with nursing care also available at
Glebe House.
Glebe House is a residential and nursing care home in Staines, Surrey. Its smaller setting allows the team to get to know residents personally and provide care around their individual needs.
Moorland House is a residential care home in Barton-on-Sea, Hampshire, a short distance from the coast. Residents can enjoy a warm, homely environment, freshly prepared meals and a varied programme of activities and visiting entertainment.
Across both homes,
Merling Care focuses on creating a genuine home-from-home atmosphere where residents feel safe, respected and known as individuals.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know whether a care home is good?
Review its latest CQC report, visit the home and observe how staff interact with residents. Look beyond decoration and ask about staffing, training, care planning, meals, activities and how the home responds when residents’ needs change.
Should I choose the care home closest to me?
Location is important, particularly for family visits, but it should not be the only consideration. The home must also provide the correct care, environment and level of support.
Can my loved one try a care home before moving permanently?
Some homes offer respite or trial stays, subject to availability and an assessment of the person’s needs. A temporary stay can help someone experience the home before making a longer-term decision.
Should my loved one be involved in choosing the home?
Yes, wherever possible. Their wishes, routines, personality and preferences should remain central to the decision.
What if my loved one’s needs increase?
Ask the home what additional care it can provide and whether a move may eventually be necessary. Homes offering both residential and nursing care may be able to support a wider range of changing needs.
Final Thoughts
Choosing the right care home is not about finding the grandest building or the longest list of facilities. It is about finding a place where your loved one will be safe, respected, comfortable and properly supported.
Take time to understand their needs, research different homes and visit more than once where possible. Speak to staff, ask direct questions and pay close attention to the everyday atmosphere.
The right home should make your loved one feel like a person with a life, history and preferences, not simply a room number on a care plan.
If you are considering care for yourself or a loved one,
Merling Care welcomes enquiries at any stage. Families are invited to arrange a visit to
Glebe House in Staines or
Moorland House in Barton-on-Sea, meet the team and talk through the care options available.
